WAG – A Domestic Goddess? Cast Aside All Doubts!

The question cropped up, “Is a WAG a domestic goddess?” For the life of me, I cannot understand why the question. Of course. Surely that’s evident. Consider goddesses you’ve heard of – what do they do around the house?

She graces it with her presence. She lounges, making her will known. She leaves no doubt as to who the goddess of the house is. She metes out punishment – and she grants favours. She can wither you with a look, or turn your knees to water with a smile. She’s mystical.

Mystical? Of course she is. How often have you gazed into those goddess eyes and wondered what the hell is going on in there? There’s no telling. Do YOU know how she arrived at some of those decisions – or what she’s going to do next? When you see that ember of life in those eyes turn to a glow, can YOU anticipate whether she’ll give you honey from her lips or launch a vase at your head?

She demands the best from you. She can be pacified with gifts – but an inferior gift will ignite her wrath, and fire and brimstone will be your lot until you rectify the situation with something more worthy. She can bring crushing poverty down upon your home; or she can grant you fame and wealth, way beyond anything you enjoyed before.

Damn right, she’s a domestic goddess, and you doubt that at your peril.

The Good News – She’s Made Of The Good Stuff.

Yup, she’s not all cold and stony - when she chooses not to be. Sure, that cold shoulder has a freeze in it that could reverse global warming; but she has – well, other attributes – that could melt the ice caps in an hour.

This domestic goddess can be all woman when she so chooses. She can be soft and pliant. She can sooth you with soft lights and gentle music. She can soak you in luxurious bubble baths to ease your aching muscles and nurture you with the smoothest whiskey to ease the flight of today into tomorrow. Her strong, gentle hands can massage the Coach right out of your consciousness.

And the gift thing? (Did I mention that she grants wisdom too?) If you use wisdom, you’ll find that she’s happy with gift vouchers from certain elite shops – and accounts at most others. (She accepts credit cards.) And she knows how to show favour when you show wisdom and use the life lessons she’s so caringly taught you.

She doesn’t come with a user manual, so you have to figure it out, but that’s what the change rooms at work are for. That’s where fellowship with your colleagues and the sharing of knowledge and experience comes in. Use that time wisely. Learn from the mistakes of others and give support to the newbies in your group.

WAG goddesses can be temperamental – but would you want a cold, inanimate statue on your mantelpiece instead? Well, assuming it’s not a golden football trophy with your name on it, of course. That’s always jackpot.