Sunday, February 14, 2010

Aunty Maude; The Tale That WAGd The Dog.

I’m so excited! My niece told me recently that she had joined the WAGs! I’m so happy for her – I don’t mind telling you that I was beginning to have some doubts about her…..quite a handful, she was becoming. Well, there you are – never lose faith; we were all young once.

I’m not sure who the WAGs are, but I joined the WRENS during the War, and I can tell you, we had a fair bit of fun, we did! All for a good cause, mind you. (That awful man with the little moustache was being an absolute beast on the Continent. Made his presence felt in England, too. Quite wrecked the place. Well, we taught him to mind his “p’s” and “q’s”, we did - with a little help from the others, of course.)

I suppose WAGs must be something similar. My niece, Jane, tells me that they’re quite involved with sporting activities. (Football, I think she said.) I remember how much fun we had in the WRENS, supporting our local regiments in their sporting matches – mostly cricket, in those days, but football and rugby too. Looked very dashing in their white attire, they did. Very good for morale, it was; kept up the spirits. Good clean fun.

I shouldn’t say this, but the socials after the matches weren’t always quite so clean! Quite frisky, some of those lads were, I can tell you! But certainly good for OUR morale! (Good Heavens, what would my mother say if she heard a remark like that?) Well, can’t live in the Dark Ages, can we? Must move with the times; far more open now – too open, if I may be so bold.

Never mind, good healthy activities will be good for our Jane. Won’t do her any harm to learn a bit of decorum and proper presentation. (She mentioned that proper attire was terribly important, so that’ll do her good. No fashion sense at all, to my mind. Won’t do her any harm to learn from those in the know.) I told my friends about it and they’re all very happy for her, though none of them seemed to know much about WAGs. My young nephew, Neville, will be over for a visit shortly, so perhaps I could ask him.

Ah, Here’s Neville Now! Do Excuse Me …

Well, THAT was uncalled for! I simply asked Neville if he knew anything about the WAGs, and he told me to “Google It”! Don’t know what got into him, he’s normally such a nice, placid young man. He doesn’t LOOK annoyed or anything; just sitting at the computer as if nothing happened. How awkward.

What’s that, Neville? You FOUND something about WAGs? On the computer? How very clever of you! You must show me how you did that. Well, shift over, young man, let me see ….

Ah, here we are, let’s see what they say. .…..

Ah, yes, there you are …..

Oh, that’s interesting……

Oh ……?

Oh, dear …….

Oh, My …..

Oh, dear me …


Oh Shit.

Childhood Emotional Trauma: The Issue Of Volunteers.

Dealing with emotional trauma is a matter for the experts, but there is so much of it around that we need to know something about it – even if it’s just enough to realize that a lack of knowledge can do more harm than good. This is especially true when dealing with childhood emotional trauma among sufferers who are still children.

Children’s Homes are filled with traumatised children. Even if they haven’t been abused, the very fact that they are there is a result of a traumatic life event. Sudden death of a primary care-giver is a huge factor in causing childhood emotional trauma. Even if the reasons are purely economic, being wrenched away from their family and their known environment into that lonely, unknown world, cannot escape causing them severe trauma. In too many cases, however, abuse or neglect was the cause of their being relocated.

The circumstances leading up to a child’s incarceration into an institution ensures that the child is already traumatized by the time admission takes place. From that moment on, there will be many circumstances to add to their trauma, not least, their sense of abandonment and loneliness. For them, childhood emotional trauma is already a reality that will shape their futures.

Childhood Emotional Trauma; Volunteers and Hosts.

Volunteers and hosts who visit children in institutions, or take them to their homes on a regular basis, should be aware that their own lack of training in childhood emotional trauma could very easily undo all the progress that the children’s therapists have made. For example, abused children do not see normal discipline from the same perspective as emotionally secure children do. Childhood emotional trauma changes a child’s perception of discipline and punishment. When you smack your child’s bottom, indignation is probably the only result. When you raise your hand to an abused child, even playfully, the moment your hand is raised, all trust disappears and immediate distress is triggered. No matter how much you reassure the child, that trust is gone – and the child is convinced that yet another adult has proved that adults cannot be trusted.

Another consequence of childhood emotional trauma is that these children often have a very low self-esteem. ‘Normal’ teasing may inadvertently trigger responses in them that take you by surprise. Careless use of words can cause immense damage to already-fragile self-esteems.

Childhood emotional trauma carries devastating consequences. My purpose is not to discourage volunteer activities. I URGE more people to get involved. You CAN have a HUGE positive influence. My purpose is to emphasise the need to understand the issue and to encourage more people to do one of the many short study courses offered in childhood emotional trauma before volunteering.

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An Act Of Love: Healing Emotional Trauma.

Healing emotional trauma begins with understanding it. Emotional trauma is stress exploded beyond a person’s ability to process an extreme life experience or to cope with the occurrence. It can be caused by a number of triggers - the sudden loss of a loved one, a serious accident or injury, violence or continuous violent abuse, abuse in all its forms, prolonged neglect or an incident where extreme fear resulted from neglect, natural disasters, amongst others factors. Being a witness to such an occurrence, particularly where serious injury, fatalities or emotional suffering are involved, can also be a cause.

Healing emotional distress is an act of love. In my opinion, it should be done by someone with knowledge and expertise, with the active support of friends and loved ones who if not involved, could unintentionally exacerbate the condition. The expression “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” can be tragically true when unqualified do-gooders decide to ‘help.’ This is especially true in cases where childhood emotional trauma is involved.

Healing emotional distress is a team function.

There are a number of organizations and individuals qualified in the field of healing emotional distress - psychiatrists, psychologists and trained counsellors in various organizations and private practices are available. However, I feel that the person’s direct family or appointed friends should be involved in understanding the therapy involved. They form an important part of the team in healing emotional distress, as they are the ones who are close to the sufferer in everyday life situations. By understanding the process, they are able to offer support and encouragement. Most important in my mind is that they understand enough to not destroy all the progress being made by the patient and the professionals!

Healing emotional distress, or treatment, to be more accurate, usually takes the form of talk therapy, behaviour therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, where one knowingly changes one’s thoughts and actions, and a systematic approach to desensitizing the factor that triggers the trauma – or reducing the intensity of the reaction to it.

I have read that more recent developments in healing emotional distress can include forms of psychotherapy and body therapies related to new brain science information, incorporating neurological stimuli. The technicalities of healing emotional distress are not the topic of my discourse here, but the need for it.

Emotional trauma is real and cruel. Healing emotional trauma is crucial to the sufferer’s well-being and potential in life – but it is also a way of preventing more emotional trauma to others, resulting from behavioural disorders of the sufferer. Supporting the healing process is an act of love. Don’t just hope that it’ll go away.

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Emotional Trauma: A Personal Overview

Emotional trauma can be a very debilitating condition, all the more so because it is often overlooked by the sufferer’s friends, family and colleagues as simply a character flaw, which they expect the sufferer to overcome and just “pull himself or herself together.” Such an attitude exacerbates the condition with dire effects. Healing emotional trauma depends upon being able to recognize it in the first place and accepting it as a treatable condition.

Not only can emotional trauma be treated, but it must be treated – for the sake of the sufferer, as well as for the sake of those affected by his or her actions and attitudes as a result of the worsening condition. Left untreated, the psychological distress of the sufferer can lead to behavioural patterns that adversely affect those who are dependant upon him or her, thus possibly leading to emotional distress to them as well, becoming an unbreakable cycle.

We live in a traumatized world – and the greater the behavioural disorders are that result from it, the more our offspring will suffer emotion trauma stemming from ours, until it becomes the norm.

What Is Emotional Trauma?

Trauma is stress gone haywire; too much to cope with. It is an ongoing inability to deal with an extreme life event, stemming from a number of possible sources such as
natural disasters, war, violence, abuse, the sudden loss of someone upon whom we depend, an act by someone that destroys faith and trust, serious accidents, or loss of self worth in an inability to cope with a situation.

Abuse can include repeated acts of violence, rape or severe neglect. Sudden loss of someone upon whom one is dependant includes emotional dependency, like a sibling.

Emotional trauma may occur not only in a person suffering one of those causes, but in someone who has witnessed such an event.

Dealing with emotional trauma oneself – that is the sufferer – is too much to realistically expect. Sufferers need help to deal with emotional trauma, and when we recognize the condition in anyone, we have a moral and humane responsibility to assist that person in getting the help he or she requires.

Emotional trauma is a cruel affliction for anyone to suffer. By encouraging and helping such a person to receive treatment, we not only help the person to ease the suffering, but we are helping to establish that person to pursue a life where his or her potential can be fulfilled. In addition, we may well be helping others within the circle of the sufferer’s influence to avoid their own emotional trauma resulting from behavioural disorders of the sufferer.

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A World Of Opportunity: Free Audio Books.

If you haven’t discovered the audio book yet, you could be losing out on a world of opportunity. Many of us love reading, but lament the time we don’t seem to have to do enough of it. The joy of reading has its own rewards, but there’s a great deal to be said for just listening as well.

Remember when you were a kid, how much you loved having a story read to you? You could just close your eyes, or gaze into the distance, and visualize a whole different world, accompanied by the soothing sound of someone’s voice?

Audio books are widely available from a number of sources, for purchase, for rent, and as downloads – but they do not have to be a major expense in your life. Free audio books are available, once again, from a number of sources.

With books, sometimes one prefers to purchase them new and to keep them at home for a number of people to read and to be able to read repeatedly. Other books, one buys on sale. Either way, one builds a home library. For avid readers, obtaining books from a public library may be a more convenient choice. The same applies to audio books. (There is probably an audio book library near you – perhaps even in a section of your regular library. Alternatively, there are audio book libraries online.)

Free Audio Books – Where To Find Them:

If you already belong to a library, that would be a good place to start your search for free audio books.

Alternatively, there are a number of sites online where you can download free audio books – just doing a Google search will probably reveal more than you expected.

One of the organizations well worth a mention is LibriVox. They provide free audio books from the public domain. Volunteers record books in the public domain and publish the files onto the internet, where you can download them. Their goal is to record all books in the public domain.

Type “free audio book” into your Google – or other – search bar and a great number of sites will be listed. Some of them are dedicated to free audio books, while others have books for sale or rent, but will offer a limited number of free downloads.

Free audio books on offer include not only entertainment, but many language courses and other university / educational courses, inspirational material and promotional material.

Remember that while you’re carrying out those dull routine tasks, enjoying a leisurely walk, sunbathing at the pool, recuperating at home, or just have some time to fill, there are free audio books available to spice up your life and introduce new elements into your world.

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Reading By Ear: The Audio Book

The concept of audio books is by no means new – but they are easier to obtain now and are available in more applications than ever before. Originally, audio books were done on tape cassettes, but now they are readily available on CD, MP3, or as downloads from web sites. Generally they are sold, usually in CD form, rented, downloaded at a price, or are obtainable from libraries, but there are also free audio books available as downloads from various web sites.

The original audio books tended to be more in the range of study material - learning languages, various motivational courses, or literary study aids, not to mention an array of promotional material – but they have developed to cover a much wider spectrum. Educational material in this form has boomed. Voice recordings of published books exist either in the form of actors reading parts, or of someone reading the book to an audience. In some cases, stories are published books, in other cases the audio books are specially written for this medium. Sci-Fi forms a large part of the audio book market, including serialization of scripts specifically written for the medium.

Whether your objective is study, entertainment or use as a remedial tool, there are audio books readily available to suit your requirements.

Uses For – And The Convenience Of – Audio Books.

One of the most obvious benefits of the audio book is the benefit to those who suffer from impaired vision. There are others, though, who are unable to read and would benefit hugely from being able to listen – small children and anyone else who has not yet learnt to read. Audio books make education a reality even for the illiterate, but they also offer a world of entertainment, information and knowledge despite people’s inability to read.

For many of us, the audio book gives us an opportunity to catch up on some “reading” in situations where we don’t normally use a book. Driving a car, for example, particularly if you are cursed with peak hour traffic every day. Even using public transport, many people are uncomfortable burying the faces in a book – they want to be alert and see what is happening around them. The audio book is the answer – out with the MP3 player, and you’re conscious of two worlds at once.

If you’re good at multi-tasking, it’s a boon. Listen to your favourite stories, inspirational material, or learn something new while going about routine housekeeping tasks, or any other routine work, for that matter.

The audio book certainly adds an element of convenience to our lives, particularly now that we have such a variety to listen to.

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You Know You’re The Best! - So Which Is The Best Online Dating Site For You?

It’s all over the place; advertised on business sites, blogs, affiliate programmes, just about everywhere you surf – the online dating web site. Perish the thought that you might even be interested! But, hey, somewhere a nagging little voice in your mind really wants to just have a look! But which one is the best online dating site for you to explore?

They’re generally free to browse and even to set up a profile. Check out a number of them and browse until one strikes you as being the best online dating site, or at least the one that suits you the best.

In order to find the best online dating site for you, there are some considerations. Location is a big one. Some sites service specific areas like the U.S.A., the U.K. and Australia, when you might be located in Africa, Russia or Korea. Certainly it can be fun to correspond with people in those distant areas, but realistically, the best online dating site for you would have to include the area in which you reside, as well as the far-away places. (Make no mistake, there are people who have packed their belongings and moved to distant shores to join someone they met online – though not always for the best!)

Surf’s Up! I’m Ridin’ The Wave … Now What?

The best online dating site must also be the safest one – one that has the built-in features to protect its members. When you’re surfing, take note of the layout and the design of the site. You’ll realize that a number of them look exactly the same, with different colour combinations and site addresses – but they feature the same people and the same rules and formats. That’s good. There are a few big sites who allow affiliated partners to use their resources under their own names. The registration, rules, features and accounts all lead back to the one “service provider”. Those big sites have the experience and ability to offer you the best, safest experience
Once you’ve identified one of those highly professional ones, that would probably be the best online dating site for you in terms of general safety, multitude of choices, user-friendliness and online help.

Chances are that you will have already set up your profile before you decided that this was your own best online dating site. Now read their terms and conditions, understand their ethical requirements, JOIN your best online dating site, and then refine your profile with the right filters.

Remember that even the best online dating site in the world can still be a hunting ground for predators. You need to exercise caution, a good deal of commonsense and responsibility.

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